I just couldn’t resist.
I got such a great response to my Wine Cube review last Friday that I had to see what else this horrific crap-in-a-box had in store for me. For Christmas this year, my loving and supportive wife gave me a Vinturi aerator. I haven’t used it a whole lot, but I figured, “hey, self,” I said to myself, “if any wine could use the restorative power of the Vinturi, it’s this wax-wrapped swill.”
Good gravy, was I wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.
So here’s the deal. I drank this circus clown sweat two more times: first, after running it through the Vinturi. Then, after running it through the Vinturi twice. Here are the results.
One Run Through The Vinturi
The nose actually improved some. The alcohol sting from the fresh-out-of-the-box Wine Cube was mostly nulled, and I got a big, big whiff of all kinds of bright red fruit. Mostly strawberry and cherry. The palate, on the other hand, is done no favors by the aeration. The wine became sour and tart, though the red fruit notes are still there. It’s simply unpleasant. I think those who would buy this for the fruitbombasticness would be disappointed, and those who bought it because they thought it was wine, doubly so.
Two Runs Through The Vinturi
The nose is similar here, but even more sourness and less fruit. It’s somehow less offensive, but it smells like, well, like not much at all. Similar note on the palate: the wine tastes less and less like anything. I have to say, however, if I were in Saw VII, and Jigsaw’s big game included this wine reviewer being forced to drink this stuff, I would only pray for a Vinturi. Even if I had to kill to get it. The wine, since it tasted like less and less as we went on, became less and less offensive.
It’s still unadulterated shit, however.
I’m done. I threw out the other half liter of this wine that was left, and I will no longer be imbibing Wine Cube for your pleasure. So, in the words of Maximus: “Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained?! Is this not why you are here?”
Verdict: sub-70/100